Strategies for giving your gal a gift

Strategies for giving your gal a gift

The hero's tale
Before your gal opens her gift, she already has a general idea of how she's going to react. She knows that she's going to thank you, give you a hug or a kiss, and tell you how nice it was for you to think of her. And she's going to do all of this regardless of whether or not she actually likes what you gave her.

It's a rare gal (or guy for that matter) who opens a gift and tells you with complete honesty that it's terrible...and thankfully so. Out of courtesy, we're all trained from childhood to show appreciation when we receive something, so it's natural for your gal to cover up her true feelings if you give her a rotten gift. That's when she'll fall back on her deeper feelings of, "It's the thought that counts, and it was a nice gesture at least. I love him regardless." Then she'll bottle up any remaining disappointment and move on with her day.

Gals need more
"It's the thought that counts." That's enough isn't it? So why should a guy spend any more time on this gift giving business? The simple answer is that this phrase means something different to gals than it does to guys.

When guys get gifts, we're usually glad that we got anything at all. To us, the mere fact that somebody thought to give us something is enough. Even if it's an awful gift, we tend to enjoy it just the same. Basically, we don't expect much, so we're happy with any old gift.

Your gal however, needs more than this. For her, "the thought that counts" is the thought that you put into selecting which particular gift to give her, the wrapping job you do on it, the card that you write out for her, and how you present the gift to her.

Gifts send messages
You might be thinking this sounds a little materialistic, but it's really not. Here's why. When she opens her gift and sees that it's the very thing she mentioned to you in a passing conversation several months earlier, it shows her that you pay attention to her. When you give her something wonderful that she never mentioned to you, it tells her that you understand her. When she sees that you obviously spent some time on the wrapping, writing a nice card, and presenting it to her in a memorable way, it shows that you care about her.

There it is. What your gal really wants is to know that you pay attention to her, understand her, and care about her...and in her mind, this is partially conveyed through the gifts that you give her. Again, guys don't think this way, but gals do, so go along with the program and follow this advice. If you want to bring your gal some happiness and strengthen your relationship, spend some time (1) choosing a good gift, (2) wrapping it as best you can, (3) writing her a nice card, and (4) making the moment memorable. It's when you come through on these four things that she can get all emotional and even cry a bit.

Be her hero
Here's some information we dug up in a study on relationships. Guys and gals were asked, "What do you most want in a relationship?" The top answer for guys was that they wanted affection. The top answer for gals was that they wanted to feel safe.

In other words, most gals want a hero. Someone to keep them safe from harm, but also safe in the knowledge that your relationship is strong. It's your job to communicate both of these things to her, and one of the many ways you can do this is through the gifts that you give her each year.

Trust the gals
So how can you up your game when it comes to gifts for your gals? Well odds are, you probably won't be able to do it alone, because you've got a guy's brain. You'll need some ladies to help you out, and that's what our "army of gals" is for.

Every word of advice here is reviewed and approved by our gals. So when you read through our field reports and comb through the tactics we've supplied you with, you can trust that you're accessing the most accurate and useful information available.

Last thought
Your gals need you to put more time into their gifts than you expect them to put into yours. It's just one of the ways that guys and gals differ, so get on board with the idea that she wants you to be her hero. If you put in some effort to learn this stuff and apply it correctly, your gal will be a lot happier for it.

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Alec, James, Richard
and our army of gals